According to a recent survey published last year, more than one in five Australian’s said they felt too ashamed to seek help for mental health issues —a significant increase from 13% in 2022.

The survey, which gathered responses from over 5,000 Australians, highlights a troubling pattern: nearly half of respondents waited until they felt very or extremely distressed before seeking professional help, while 30% held off until they were moderately distressed. For some, this delay to seek help stretched up to 10 years.

Whether you’re feeling anxious, dealing with depression, struggling with a bad habit, or just feeling overwhelmed, shame can make asking for help feel impossible. So, let’s talk about how shame works—and how to push past it so you can get the support you need.

What Is Shame, really?

Shame and guilt are often mixed up, but they’re not the same. Guilt is feeling bad because you think you did something wrong. Shame, on the other hand, makes you think there is something wrong with you leading to thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve help,” or “People will think less of me”. This kind of thinking can make it really hard to ask for help.

How Shame Stops You from Getting Help

Shame often prevents people from asking for help due to a fear of being judged. Many worry that admitting they’re struggling will make others see them as weak or flawed, especially if they believe asking for help equates to failure. This fear can be heightened by perfectionism. Those who hold themselves to impossibly high standards may feel that seeking support is an admission of failure.

Shame reinforces the belief that if you can’t manage everything on your own, you’re somehow inadequate. Additionally, there’s the fear of vulnerability. Opening up about personal challenges can be intimidating, as shame can make vulnerability feel risky, leading to concerns about rejection or criticism if others see the real, unfiltered version of you.

5 tips to Help You Get Past Your Shame

Getting help early to cope with mental health challenges can make a real difference, and taking that first step doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Whether it’s about your mental health, dealing with stress, or facing a tough situation, here are 5 tips to help you take the first steps toward overcoming shame and asking for help:

Remember You’re Not Alone: Shame makes you feel like you’re the only one dealing with a problem, but that’s not true. Everyone struggles with something at some point. Asking for help is normal and doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Challenge Your Shameful Thoughts: When you ask for help, are you telling yourself that you’re not good enough or that others will think less of you? Challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if you would judge a friend for asking for help, and if not, why are you judging yourself?
Take Small Steps: If the idea of asking for help feels overwhelming, start small. Talk to someone you trust about a smaller issue. Once you have a positive experience with that, it will be easier to ask for help with bigger things.
Change the Way You See Asking for Help: Instead of thinking of asking for help as a weakness, try to see it as a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit you don’t have all the answers and are willing to take steps toward improving your situation.
Find the Right People to Talk To: Make sure you’re talking to someone who will listen without judgment. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to friends or family, consider talking to a professional like a Psychologist who’s trained to help without making you feel ashamed.

Final Thoughts

Shame can be a tough emotion to deal with, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Once you understand how it works, you can challenge it and take the first step toward asking for the help you deserve. So please reach out to make an appointment with one of our experienced Senior Psychologists today.