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How EFT couples’ therapy can help get your relationship back on track

If your relationship is in desperate need of repair, then Emotionally Focussed Couples Therapy (EFT) is a powerful therapeutic approach that can help you get your relationship back on track, and fast.

There are many types of therapies for couples seeking relationship counselling or marriage counselling, but EFT has a proven track record in helping couples overcome conflict in their relationship.

Emotion Focussed Couples Therapy helps couples learn how to improve their relationship, learn healthier patterns of communication and more importantly, how to repair the relationship.

Why do couples seek therapy?

Unsurprisingly, most couples seek therapy because there are problems in the relationship that they don’t know how to fix on their own. When couples present for relationship or marriage counselling, they may be experiencing a range of intense emotions such as anger, betrayal, loss of trust, or feelings of unworthiness. Some couples may be considering a separation or divorce.

What most couples who present to therapy have in common is patterns of conflict that are damaging to the relationship. When conflict isn’t resolved adequately, it can lead to a cycle of frustration where issues continue to mount and the disconnect is not repaired.

Common problems in relationships

Some of the common problems that lead couples to seek relationship counselling are:

Letting issues bubble away and then ‘exploding’
Silent treatments or moving on without discussing the conflict
Angry outbursts and verbal abuse
Feeling misunderstood or invalidated
Feeling disconnected
Interactions that become strained or that relate only to the daily routine and the children
No longer enjoying each other’s company
Not repairing the disconnect following conflict

All couples will argue and experience challenges in a relationship, but it’s not so much the arguing that’s the problem but what comes next. If a couple cannot discuss the issue when they have calmed down or come to a resolution, then they cannot repair that moment of disconnection. With each conflict that comes after that, the fractures become deeper in the relationship. This is where the real problem lies and identifying these unhelpful patterns is at the core of EFT couples therapy.

What is EFT couples’ therapy?

Emotionally Focussed Couples Therapy aims to improve adult relationships by working with a couple to examine patterns in their relationship such has how close or distant they are from each other, rebuild trust and build skills to create a more secure, healthier relationship.

EFT has a broad research base spanning over twenty years and the scientific evidence demonstrates its effectiveness in treating relationship problems in adults.

How will EFT couples therapy help your relationship?

EFT helps couples identify unhelpful relationship patterns, repair the disconnection, regain trust and move forward. While the aim is to help couples reconnect, EFT also has flow on effects for the individual by reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety and trauma.

When you book an appointment with an EFT couples’ therapist, the Psychologist will assess you and your partner by interviewing you both and observing the dynamics in the relationship in the counselling room. You will be encouraged to discuss your emotional issues and this may require digging into the past and uncovering past trauma or other unresolved problems in order to move forward in the current relationship.

You will be supported to express your feelings in a healthier way so that you can connect, rather than distance yourself from your partner. You will learn to be more attuned to your own emotions, and your partner’s too.

Three main steps of EFT:

Address the crisis. Your psychologist will address the most pressing negative interactions which cause significant distress in the relationship. The cycle of unhealthy communication is addressed by supporting the couple to identify and understand what is going wrong in their relationship. In doing this you will uncover some of the underlying issues and emotions at play in the relationship breakdown.
Restructuring interactions. The psychologist helps the couple discuss their individual fears in the relationship and their insecurities by using language that connects rather than disconnects them from their partner.
This third state of EFT involves the psychologist supporting the couple to see how the negative patterns emerged in the first place and how you can change these patterns and continue using the skills learnt beyond therapy.

Couples who have undergone EFT relationship counselling report improved communication, sexual satisfaction, a sense of forgiveness and a more secure connection within the relationship.

Find an EFT couples therapist in Brisbane

While many psychologists provide relationship and marriage counselling, only psychologists accredited in EFT can provide this specialized form of short-term couple’s therapy. At Ahead Psychology we have psychologists who are certified EFT couples’ therapists.

To find out more or book an appointment call Ahead Psychology on (07) 3352 3577 or send us a message.

References

Wiebe, S., & Johnson, S. (2016). A Review of the Research in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Journal of Family Process, 55, pp 390-407. Sourced from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/303868602_A_Review_of_the_Research_in_Emotionally_Focused_Therapy_for_Couples