Confidence significantly shapes our perception of challenges and our ability to manage them. Even elite performers aren’t immune to its effects. But how can you genuinely build confidence? The answer sounds simple: believe in yourself.
Yet, as performance coach Steve Magness highlights in his book “Do Hard Things,” most advice on confidence focuses on outward appearances. This often leads to merely acting confident rather than developing true self-assurance.
The Facade of Confidence
Many people try to display confidence by walking with a puffed chest, speaking boldly, and hiding their doubts. This superficial approach can crumble under pressure, revealing a fragile foundation. Real confidence, according to Magness, isn’t about ignoring insecurities but confronting and understanding them. It’s about recognizing what you can achieve within your capabilities. Here are 5 actionable steps Magness suggests to develop genuine confidence:
- Set Manageable Expectations
The common advice to “Go big or go home” often leads us to set overly ambitious goals. When we fail to meet these high expectations, our confidence can take a hit. Instead of aiming for a monumental breakthrough, set goals that are within or just slightly beyond your current capabilities. This approach doesn’t mean lowering your standards; it’s about knowing what you can consistently achieve. Focus on improving your best average performance rather than striving for rare peak performances. This shift helps maintain and build confidence through steady progress.
- Embrace Who You Are
True confidence comes from understanding your strengths, recognizing the challenges ahead, and acknowledging your weaknesses. Confident individuals find the right balance between risk and reward. They aren’t afraid to be vulnerable and explore their weaknesses without fear of judgment. By accepting your fears and insecurities, you diminish their power over you. Criticisms lose their sting when you face them head-on, turning potential weaknesses into areas for growth.
- Trust Your Hard Work
Real confidence is built on a foundation of hard work. However, working solely out of fear of failure won’t foster true confidence. Instead, focus on improving, enjoying the process, and mastering your craft. Whether you’re a writer, dancer, or analyst, dedicating yourself to consistent practice and skill development is crucial. Over time, this diligent effort enhances both your abilities and your confidence, even if the results aren’t always as expected.
- Develop a Quiet Ego
Your ego acts as a protective mechanism, but an overactive ego can create a false sense of self. Social psychologist Heidi Wayment introduced the concept of a “quiet ego,” which balances self-assurance with a realistic understanding of one’s strengths and weaknesses. To quiet your ego, reflect on what causes you to feel defensive or pained. How do you handle criticism? By fostering self-awareness and embracing vulnerability, you can reduce the ego’s influence and gain a broader perspective. This balanced approach allows for personal growth and resilience.
- Accept the Good and the Bad
How you handle failure significantly impacts your confidence. If you receive negative feedback about your work, do you see yourself as a failure in your job? Building confidence involves developing a nuanced view of yourself, recognizing both strengths and weaknesses. This perspective is known as evaluative integration, where you can see both positive and negative aspects in situations. Research shows that those who integrate their experiences in this balanced way build true confidence and thrive under pressure.
Conclusion
Confidence is crucial for success in any endeavour. However, real confidence isn’t about putting on a facade. It’s about embracing your strengths and weaknesses, recognizing both positive and negative experiences, setting realistic goals, and putting in the hard work. By following Steve Magness’s insights, you can develop a deep-seated confidence that stands strong, even when faced with challenges.
Reference: https://workonstrategy.substack.com/p/how-to-build-real-confidence